G’day! This is Brad from ANZ Basic Home Loans and guess what, awesome, it’s casual Fridays!
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Sam Hoffmann: You’re a good guy Brad. Just keep on working for the good of our country. -
John-Paul Hussey: Thanks mate, we’ve got some great loan deals on all white goods and large domestic appliances at the moment. Maybe your missus wants a new fridge with a totally useless ice crushing outlet? -
Sam Hoffmann: That’s great Brad, you’re such a great bloke, can’t wait for a new toaster…the old one just doesn’t suit the new reno job.
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Sam Hoffmann: While I’m at it could I get a loan for a new car too? My 2011 Toyota Celica just doesn’t suit my lifestyle any more.
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John-Paul Hussey: Awesome, just fill in the paper work and you’re done mate.
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Sam Hoffmann: Thanks mate… done.
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John-Paul Hussey: Can’t interest you in remodeling your loan package, mate? Just a tiny bit. I’ll throw in another 3 grand and you can get that jet ski you’ve had your eye on for ages.
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Sam Hoffmann: That’s fine. What sort of interest rate am I looking at?
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John-Paul Hussey: Only 12%! I know only 12%, I can’t believe it myself either mate. I’ll just change around the numbers, initial it, good as done, and you’ll be in debt AGAIN for ONLY another 18 months. Awesome.
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Sam Hoffmann: Wow, sounds great. Sign me up.
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Shane Grant: Sign me up for half a mill. -
David Grant: I love this JP 🙂 -
John-Paul Hussey: OK Shane no problem. That means you’ll be in debt for only 35 years and if you quit smoking now, you can pay it all off yourself and not pass the debt onto your grand kids. Awesome.
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David Grant: Awesome!
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Kelly Ryall: Hi Brad, I think we can be friends. -
John-Paul Hussey: Sorry Kelly mate, can’t help you there mate. You’re single it says here in the paperwork. We’ll need a double income for that loan mate. No sorry mate, no no mate. You’ll have to leave…and bring the dog with you. ….Jeez some people!
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Peat Moss: Sorry Brad, I’m with Bendigo -
Steve Prendiville: Botox Friday -
John-Paul Hussey: Well good luck to you Peat cuz as we all acknowledge here down at the Mount Waverly branch, the Bendigo is like that sad n sorry town – full of fly by nighters and bloody horse thieves. Here at the ANZ we’re here to help you through the long haul, til the very end. Yeah, till you’re basically dead n buried mate. Have a good squizz at our brochure and come back to me. Right. Awesome.
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John-Paul Hussey: Botox on my bollox! That’s a bit of a stretch mate. That’s a bit homosexual. OK Steve, OK calm down, no sprucing of your personal business here mate. No. Go on and take one of our promo glossys with you.
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Stephen Ives: Oh you are just wrong JP, WRONG! -
John-Paul Hussey: Awesome.
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Utter Rutter: YAY!!! do you do loans for “personal improvement” I am in a happy marriage and want to keep my man coming back for more !! YAY!! -
John-Paul Hussey: Just buy more stuff. Big stuff that you can’t really afford Mizz. Buy it without telling the hubby, just bring it home and surprise him with look what I got at Highpoint?! It’ll blow him away! And keep it regular, keep going back to the Mall every weekend and buy even more stuff that you don’t need. Awesome for the Conomy. Awesome for us. Awesome for the sexlife and amazing would u believe it Mizz – Awesome for the Virnoment & those Chinese kids.
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Utter Rutter: Stuff, YAY !!!
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Stephen Ives: Oh Jesus, just woke up for work and realised you were in my waking dream Brad, not good at 5.30 in the am.
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Emmymaie Davey: Hey, dude, got any $$$? -
Marion Pierce: I love the eye brows. -
Tamsin Young: Classic! -
Marcos Davidson: Hey Brad! Hows that loan for the carport coming?
John-Paul Hussey © 2012
A big thanks to SAM HOFFMANN, living in the Northern Territory at the time, for kick starting this dialogue.
