JOHN-PAUL HUSSEY

“…trips the light fantastic between autobiography and surreal imagination…Hussey is a hypnotic performer, with a daunting arsenal of characters, accents and high-octane physical comedy at his disposal…”

- The Age

“Hussey is a human dynamo!…a consummate comic character actor with a rubber face and a compact build that allows him to glide and prance around the stage like a dancer…his comic timing is impeccable as he switches physicality and accents.”

- Herald Sun

“…a densely layered chunk of performance blending hilarious autobiography, lyrical fiction, speculative philosophy, psychoanalytical symbolism, pop and high culture references with cheap clowning…it will be on your back for some time to come.”

- Sunday Age

G’day! This is Brad from ANZ Basic Home Loans and guess what, awesome, it’s casual Fridays!

Sam Hoffmann: You’re a good guy Brad. Just keep on working for the good of our country.

17 March at 11:07
John-Paul Hussey: Thanks mate, we’ve got some great loan deals on all white goods and large domestic appliances at the moment. Maybe your missus wants a new fridge with a totally useless ice crushing outlet?

17 March at 11:13
Sam Hoffmann: That’s great Brad, you’re such a great bloke, can’t wait for a new toaster…the old one just doesn’t suit the new reno job.

17 March at 11:14
Sam Hoffmann: While I’m at it could I get a loan for a new car too? My 2011 Toyota Celica just doesn’t suit my lifestyle any more.

17 March at 11:16
John-Paul Hussey: Awesome, just fill in the paper work and you’re done mate.

17 March at 11:16
Sam Hoffmann: Thanks mate… done.

17 March at 11:17
John-Paul Hussey: Can’t interest you in remodeling your loan package, mate? Just a tiny bit. I’ll throw in another 3 grand and you can get that jet ski you’ve had your eye on for ages.

17 March at 11:21
Sam Hoffmann: That’s fine. What sort of interest rate am I looking at?

17 March at 11:23
John-Paul Hussey: Only 12%! I know only 12%, I can’t believe it myself either mate. I’ll just change around the numbers, initial it, good as done, and you’ll be in debt AGAIN for ONLY another 18 months. Awesome.

17 March at 11:28
Sam Hoffmann: Wow, sounds great. Sign me up.

17 March at 11:38
Shane Grant: Sign me up for half a mill.

17 March at 12:11
David Grant: I love this JP

17 March at 12:15
John-Paul Hussey: OK Shane no problem. That means you’ll be in debt for only 35 years and if you quit smoking now, you can pay it all off yourself and not pass the debt onto your grand kids. Awesome.

17 March at 12:15
David Grant: Awesome!

17 March at 12:18
Kelly Ryall: Hi Brad, I think we can be friends.

17 March at 12:27
John-Paul Hussey: Sorry Kelly mate, can’t help you there mate. You’re single it says here in the paperwork. We’ll need a double income for that loan mate. No sorry mate, no no mate. You’ll have to leave…and bring the dog with you. ….Jeez some people!

17 March at 12:31
Peat Moss: Sorry Brad, I’m with Bendigo

17 March at 14:30
Steve Prendiville: Botox Friday

17 March at 14:38
John-Paul Hussey: Well good luck to you Peat cuz as we all acknowledge here down at the Mount Waverly branch, the Bendigo is like that sad n sorry town – full of fly by nighters and bloody horse thieves. Here at the ANZ we’re here to help you through the long haul, til the very end. Yeah, till you’re basically dead n buried mate. Have a good squizz at our brochure and come back to me. Right. Awesome.

17 March at 14:50
John-Paul Hussey: Botox on my bollox! That’s a bit of a stretch mate. That’s a bit homosexual. OK Steve, OK calm down, no sprucing of your personal business here mate. No. Go on and take one of our promo glossys with you.

17 March at 14:57
Stephen Ives: Oh you are just wrong JP, WRONG!

17 March at 15:15
John-Paul Hussey: Awesome.

17 March at 15:24
Utter Rutter: YAY!!! do you do loans for “personal improvement” I am in a happy marriage and want to keep my man coming back for more !! YAY!!

17 March at 18:04
John-Paul Hussey: Just buy more stuff. Big stuff that you can’t really afford Mizz. Buy it without telling the hubby, just bring it home and surprise him with look what I got at Highpoint?! It’ll blow him away! And keep it regular, keep going back to the Mall every weekend and buy even more stuff that you don’t need. Awesome for the Conomy. Awesome for us. Awesome for the sexlife and amazing would u believe it Mizz – Awesome for the Virnoment & those Chinese kids.

17 March at 19:41
Utter Rutter: Stuff, YAY !!!

17 March at 21:08
Stephen Ives: Oh Jesus, just woke up for work and realised you were in my waking dream Brad, not good at 5.30 in the am.

18 March at 05:36
Emmymaie Davey: Hey, dude, got any $$$?

18 March at 05:37
Marion Pierce: I love the eye brows.

18 March at 06:23
Tamsin Young: Classic!

18 March at 06:23
Marcos Davidson: Hey Brad! Hows that loan for the carport coming?

19 March at 12:34